I stopped making New Year’s resolutions a few years ago. Now, I do like to dream but the resolution thing never seemed to work out for me. At the turn of this year, however, I decided to get more organized…with meal plans and grocery shopping in particular. I didn’t call my new, stay with the program, don’t try to figure out dinner at 5:30pm plan – a New Year’s resolution.
But it was.
I made my lists. I asked input from my family about what dinners they would like. I made a two week menu plan and posted it inside a kitchen cabinet. Ta da! And it has helped! It has. Mostly.
Until a week or so ago when I got bored with the menu. But hey, it lasted more than a month! That’s at least two weeks longer than any of my previous “get my life under control” plans. And I am not scrapping it. I’m just taking a little break. Really.
The line from the song Only Grace by Matthew West that goes“and if you fall, get back up, get back up” keeps playing in my head. I love that song. All those coachy, pep talking, life affirming messages of how it’s not about how many times you fall…it’s the getting back up that counts. They’re true!
Exercise programs, skin care regimes, regular quiet times, nutrition protocols, getting rid of clutter, no more late fees, scripture memorization…don’t we all have such good intentions?!? They are good! And we are human. We fall. We fail. We don’t return the phone call. We misplace the tax receipt.
We’re going to be alright!
The falling and failing in the tiny ways and in the monumental ways really are teaching us important lessons if we will be open to learn them. Even before the phoenix rises from the ashes and is still covered in soot, there is good happening! Think mercy. Think grace. If we can be kind to ourselves when we don't live up to our own desires, we will be much more able to be kind to others when they don't. Or can't.
Think of diamonds. Formed far beneath the earth’s surface (get it – you can’t see it happening) and under the perfect circumstances of pressure and heat…they rise to the surface through volcanic eruptions. Sheesh. I’m thinking there’s an analogy here.
I’m not motivated to make dinner tonight. It is just not going to happen. I’m sure I can find some spaghetti in the pantry and boiling water is going to stretch the capacity of all I can muster. But I will try again. In every area where I seem to continually fall and find myself back on the ground…for what may feel either like a moment or a millennia. Diamonds are being formed. Formed in the beauty and context of grace.
Getting back up. Really soon. ~Stasi